On August 1, 2014, I posted “I wanna be a Blogger” on my personal Facebook page. I know that because Facebook’s Memories feature reminded me when I logged in on Wednesday morning, which happened to be the same day only four years later. I shared my original post again, this time, with additional commentary: –feeling disappointed.
On Monday, Kid Fury, one of my favorite Internet celebrities, announced what is probably the biggest news of his entire career. He is developing a half-hour HBO comedy series with Lena Waithe, an award-winning actress, producer, screenwriter and another favorite of mine, among the shows executive producers. I’ve been a fan of Kid Fury’s since his early work on YouTube. To follow his journey from a solid colored wall background in his parents’ house in Miami, FL to his wildly popular podcast The Read with Crissle (does she still go by Crissle West?) to his Furious Thoughts Live comedy tour and now, creating a TV series on a premium cable network, fills me with a sense of joy and pride that I usually reserve for my close friends and family. But my feelings didn’t stop there.
Envy reared its ugly head before I could finish reading the article and by Wednesday, disappointment settled in, just in time to update my Facebook status. I know, I know, comparison is the thief of joy. But I still can’t help but wonder sometimes: where would I be if I had gotten out of my own head, out of my own way and kept going with one of the many blogs I’ve created since 2006?
Would I have launched a fashion line by now like Julia Engel, who started her blog, Gal Meets Glam, as a college student in 2011? Would I have written a New York Times best seller or have a TED Talk that has been viewed almost 2.7 million times like Luvvie Ajayi, who also started blogging as a college student in 2003? Perhaps I would have an award winning series on a premium cable network and become the face of a global beauty brand like Issa Rae, who has been producing content on YouTube since at least 2011. The comedy scripts I would write and share with my friends, who were the main characters, are some of my favorite middle school memories. Plus, I love makeup.
The reality is, I don’t know who I could have been with 12 years of blogging under my belt. But, I’ve spent just as long beating myself up for not being that person. Or better. It’s no wonder why I struggle with blogging. When it comes to blogging, I put way too much pressure on myself.
I read somewhere that self-care included not being an expert or trying to be an expert at everything. I’m going to practice that more often, especially when it comes to blogging. And now vlogging. Don’t forget to check out the first episode on my new YouTube channel this Sunday. You’ll see how much fun I’m having not being an expert!
What are you’re weekend plans? Let me know below or tag #ReadySetCLT on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram! Want to suggest a cool event? Send them to me at readysetcharlotte[@]gmail.com. Have a great weekend!